Physical abuse is becoming the order of the day in The Gambia even though some women choose to stay in such marriages because of the “culture of silence” which exists. Gambia being the smallest country in west Africa, has being facing numerous abuses especially in polygamous marriages. It’s rampant in our society and it includes actions which are undone.

But Kanni’s story is different. She’s a hardworking woman who sells Basils (Nana)and uses the money as a means of livelihood for her and her children, despite her unceasing efforts to fend for her family, her husband continues to abuse her physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Her husband abandoned her when he married a second wife.

The 33 year old woman said “my husband did not visit since he left with his second wife and when he was leaving he told me to go and look for a room or go and wait for him at my relatives house, I’m a woman, and I’ve been looking for a room for the past months, but couldn’t have a room anywhere I go and if I tell them that I want a room they’ll tell me that I won’t be able to pay.

I’m very tired and the owner of this house said if this month (January) ends and I don’t go out he’ll call the police on me” 

With a shaky voice she added “My husband usually beats me and he doesn’t give me fish money Sometimes, I don’t want to tell my family because this is between me and him, but definitely I’m tired. Almost 1 year now he hasn’t eaten my food or entered my room. The only thing I need is a house and a helping hand. I have relatives but they’re all in Senegal and I can’t go there and depend on my brother who’s also having his own family”

The mother of four lamented that “I look confused now, people will be talking to me and I won’t get them unless they tap on me. Look at how skinny I am, because I’m always thinking about the situation I am in.

Her neighbour Fatumata Jeng said, She can attest to the fact that the woman  is very poor, tired but very hardworking. She confirmed that the woman sells and people sometimes assist her as well. 

“People do give her their used clothes and some of our neighbours do give her food if she doesn’t cook. If her kids get sick it’s difficult for her to get money and take them to hospital. I witnessed one day that her child was sick and she couldn’t even get money to buy a ticket at the hospital. Even slippers, people will have to donate it to her because she can’t afford to buy it for herself and her children”.She said.

She added that,”Her eldest child who’s less than 15 years old is working as a maid in order to help her mum. She works in the morning and goes to school in the afternoon, the husband doesn’t care about her and he beats her seriously sometimes. She has been facing a lot of domestic violence before and after her husband took a second wife, but it became worse since the husband got married to the second wife. As you can see the owner of the house said he gave them only in January and after that he’ll forcefully send her out or take her to the police station.“

Kanni has been facing difficulties in her marital home and she lives in a single room with her 4 kids and has been facing a lot of abuses.Physical abuse a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

 

By Fatimah Sonko